For how can I go back to my father without the boy? I could not bear to see the misery that would overwhelm him.”
We have here a most ingenious and pathetic speech which Judah made to Joseph on Benjamin's behalf, to obtain his discharge from the sentence passed upon him. Perhaps Judah was a better friend to Benjamin than the rest were, and more solicitous to bring him off; or he thought himself under greater obligations to attempt it than the rest, because he had passed his word...
Commenting on Genesis 44:18-34
For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me?.... Signifying that he must abide in Egypt, and chose to do it, and could not go up to the land of Canaan any more or see his father's face without Benjamin along with him, to whom he was a surety for him: lest peradventure I see the evil that...
For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad [be] not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father. (h) Meaning, he would rather remain as their prisoner, than to return and see his father in sorrow.